Flat Chest?
by Maya01
Summary: [Kinda Sorta AU]Okay, so they’re all alone in small enclosed space, in a tiny room, all cramped up and uncomfortable. Hm. Yup. Just the three of them, a paranoid girl, a bratty guy… and a hidden camera? [NejiTen]


**Summary: **Okay, so they're all alone in small enclosed space, in a tiny room, all cramped up and uncomfortable. Hm. Yup. Just the three of them, a paranoid girl, a bratty guy… and a hidden camera?

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto.

_Blah Blah – _People talking from a different scene

**Blah Blah – **That would be me. Yeah I'm popular!!

This might be a little dumb and boring, but heck, just trying to do my job.

--

"Oh my God, did you just touch my foot!! You did touch it! Don't you act innocent on me, you horny bastard! Ew, you're too near! Get outta my face, you FIEND!!!"

"Hmpf, like I even have a choice. Seriously, do you consider doing something about that flat-chest thing you have?"

"Well, _excuse _me for—Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Are you checking on me?! You are! ADMIT IT!! AAAAH!! You'rea _sex_ fiend!!"

"Like there's something to look at… ugly witch."

_O-kay, so you all might be wondering why the two of them are fighting, but if you wanna hear all about it, it's a funny story really!_

_Naruto, I think it would be best if I tell the story._

_Hey! Hey!! Quit it. You're ruining my act!_

_All right, Naruto, Sasuke, enough of your nonsense! I should be handling the mic…_

_Don't be stupid, you're a perverted hermit, how would that make it more fun!_

_Look, blondie, I'm a pro. And amateurs don't deal with pros!_

_HAH! SMACK THAT ON YOUR FACE, DOBE!!_

_Oh shut up, bastard. But just because nobody doesn't have a sense of authority and doesn't know anything about expertise—whatever that means, let's pick somebody else who's mind is less filthier than the pervert._

_Okay, let Hinata take the mic then!_

_…_

_Go ahead, Hinata._

_Thud!_

_Hinata? Hinaaataaa? You all right?_

_Not with all that blood._

**Okay, let's just quit the introduction and get to the real thing! Naruto and the others locked Tenten and Neji in a room, just the two of them. And Tenten's getting a little case of that paranoid thing, and Neji's kinda being a brat.**

**So… let's do this!!**

"And so what if I have a flat chest?!"

"Aha! So you admit it!"

"Oh yeah, at least I'm a girl! But you, are you a girl?! You only look like one, haha!! Yeah, everybody always thought you were gay!"

"Gasp! How dare you!! You're toast."

"Yeah? What are you gonna do? Block my charka tubes? Whatever! If you're so great how come you have to hug a pillow while watching horror movies?"

"I do not!!"

"Yeah right! I saw that while I was stalking you-err in case you made a new technique that involves killing me and the others."

"As if I have to do that to defeat you."

"SHUT IT, you're not making anything easier. So just shut it!"

"…"

"Sure is dark in here, isn't it? Hey, can you see if there's a switch somewhere there? I'm getting blind here."

"Nope. No switch."

"Liar! You didn't even look. Move it!!"

"… Ouch, watch it! You're stepping on my foot."

"Well, sorry! Ugh, surely there has to be a switch somewhere. Could you move a little to the left? The switch might be behind you, MOVE IT!! I might fumble upon it any time soon."

"Uh, Tenten…"

"Darn, no switch! Maybe the switch's outside?"

"…Tenten…"

"What?!"

"Um, you're… you're…"

Red glow.

"OH MY GOD, YOU'RE TOUCHING MY CHEST!!"

"I-I was not!! You got too near, I-it was… it was your fault!"

"My dignity!"

"Quit screaming, my ears are right here, you know."

"My future is ruined!!"

"Like you had one to start with…"

"What did you say?!"

"Nothing. Jeez."

"Okay… I don't believe you, but I'll kill you later. So, uh, when are they going to let us out again?"

"… They won't. We have to kiss before they do that."

"Hmp… Wait, are you implying something."

"…No."

"Gasp! It took you six seconds and three milliseconds before you answered! YOU'RE LYING!!"

"So what? All I want is to get out of this stupid room and…"

"Crazy lunatic."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Oh nothing, I just meant that you're a huge jacka88 that would do anything just to get out."

"So what do you want to do? Sit here until we rot?"

"Hmp, I don't get this whole concept, I mean, it's not like they'll know if we kiss or not! It's not like they're scanning our every move right now. It's not like we can't lie and tell them we already kissed. I mean, what? Do they have a camera here, this's bullsh88."

_They're on to us. RUN!!_

_Wait, we can't run. We have to catch this on video._

_Isn't this going to stop? I'm getting hungry. JUST KISS THE DAMN GIRL ALREADY!_

_Can't you put the hidden camera to Record Mode? They do that in elevators, right?_

_What's el-el…elevay-thing?_

_It's something that moves up and down._

_Like Sakura's boobs whenever she jump ropes._

_Gasp! You pervert! Get away from me, eww. Sasuke, kill him!! KILL HIM!_

_Later._

_Oh the whole… video thing. I don't get it, why would you want to wait? The camera's always recording what's happening anyway._

_Well, I want to watch mine live!_

_Don't we need to take, Hinata to the hospital?_

_Get away from her, pervert! I'll carry her! You can never gain my trust!_

_Yeah yeah, whatever. Sasuke, you stay here while Naruto carries Hinata and I oh-so leisurely waltz towards the hospital without a burden in my back._

_Hmp, you're just mad because you didn't get the chance to touch anything from Hinata! Well tell you what, you're not getting any, because I'm going to protect her from you, villain!_

_Could you go away already, I can't hear what they're talking about._

_Hehe. Those videos will sell like pancakes._

_Pancakes? I don't get it._

_Newsflash: You never get anything, kid._

**Okay, so I'm getting bored, Neji kissed Tenten just to get the hell outta there. After a few minutes, Sasuke opens the door because he was satisfied with the video he got, and he saw it live. Then Sasuke got whacked in the head by Neji. The video made millions and was scattered on the internet afterwards.**

**The end.**

…

**Oh wait…**

_"So, uh, why did we end up in this room again?"_

_"Those lovebirds are trying to get back on us. We have to do what they did."_

_Oh, sweet revenge._

_Let's see how Naruto and Sasuke get away with this._

_Hehe. These videos will sell like pancakes._


End file.
